Why Do They Hurt: The Evolution of Breakups

Breakups hurt. Breakups suck. But you know what, we learn a great deal from them.

We evolve.

I’ve been through many breakups in my life. Not only were these breakups romantic breakups, but they involved jobs, family, friends, living situations, the ego, etc. Without them, I wouldn’t have become the Jen I am today – thriving and getting the most out of life.

As I’ve mentioned in several of my posts, we are all balls of energy connected energetically and we all play a role. I like to think of us all dancing in one big never-ending evolutionary costume party.

The more we dance around or pay attention to someone, some thing or somewhere energetically, we become more connected to them energetically and do this little dance for some time (that in later lifetimes, turns into episodes of deja vu, nostalgia and unexplained recognition). But when it’s time to pull away, it’s never an easy break because you are energetically connected.

The best thing to do right after a breakup is to recognize and understand that all it is, is just energy and the breakup happened in order to evolve so you don’t remain dormant throughout your life.

Easier said than done right?

I get it. I actually experienced two of the biggest breakups in my life at the same time a year ago. It lead to lots of confusion and depression. These two breakups hit harder than the time I had to sign papers to take my mother off life support and that was a HUGE breakup that blindsided me.

What I came to realize was that all it was, was just energy. It may seem impossible to move on, but since you are not physically attached, you can energetically detach whenever you want.

What you don’t realize is that the one thing that keeps you from detaching is the illusion that you need whatever it is you had a breakup with to survive. You don’t. You can carry on without it. You’ll be fine.

If you’re meant to cross paths again, it will happen. This will give you another chance to decide if intertwining your energy with them is worth another try. However, really think about that so you don’t get lost in illusions and end up attaching your energy to something or someone that wasn’t a good for you during the first run.

As humans, we tend to live most of our lives based on illusion, AKA, the matrix. And we become prisoners to our emotions AKA energy in motion.

We think that once our connections with someone or something comes to an end, we are doomed. Then our emotions start to kick in full gear by generating the energies of anger, sadness, depression, etc. like the hadouken Ryu generates in Street Fighter.

The energy we generate isn’t blue or visible like Ryu’s but it’s energy just like his and you can unleash it onto others and yourself that can cause damage, just like his can. But we are NEVER disconnected… so why allow all the destructive energies to consume us? All we’re doing in our life is just dancing with energy. That’s all.

Some energies dance with each other for 100 years, some dance for 100 minutes. Nothing is ever meant to dance together forever in the same costume. If it were, people would never “die”, trees and flowers would never “die” and we would still be riding donkeys, horses and camels for transportation and live like cavemen. If you want to get technical and go way back, we’d still be prokaryotes. But really, we never die, because we are energy and we change form so we can evolve into something better.

So the next time you experience a harsh breakup, think of it as an evolutionary dance. We’re all here to experience the emotion of loss and then evolve from it. Cheers!

9 thoughts on “Why Do They Hurt: The Evolution of Breakups

    1. Hey Lori! Sorry you’re going through a painful breakup. I hope you bounce back from it quick, which I’m sure you will. 😉 I’m glad you liked this post and that it helped. ☺️


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